Back to drawing board...again

You know how you decide to attack a few mini flower beds with no tools since the soil is pretty soft and the weeds should come out easy, then find a couple of weed trees and dig in with your fingers to haul em out? Then wake up next morning with the muscles above the inner wrist cramping every time you do anything? Yep. That's me. Fingers feel a bit stiff too. I'm an idiot; it was only 30 mins or so of super fast clear up and it looks so much better but really, a little digging thing would have made life easier and saved a nail or two. Still, a skoosh of magnesium spray seems to have calmed things down now so it's on with the day.

Haven't done any sculpting this last couple of weeks and have no plan for the next piece. I do have nine sheets of paper with various headings lined up on my work table, which are yet another attempt to work out where I'm going with life/art/stuff.

Either I'm overlooking something dead obvious (always a possibility) or I know what I like to do/want to do but my belief about its do-ability to become a living is getting in the way. That leaves me figuring out how to balance the want to do with the must do to pay rent. Which is more don't know to add to the original don't know.

A life coaching thing is to bar the words "I don't know" since you just train the brain to give up on working out the answer. You don't know so that's that. Maybe if I go all day saying "I know what I'm going to do" it'll give my brain the message that it's meant to supply the answer it already has but refuses to tell me. Or I'm not listening (always a possibility).

I then had a look see around some new areas on spareroom but it appears the cheapest places to buy a house in this country are rubbish/expensive for renting. But one thing I always do when I drool over property pages is to decide which room will be the studio...what is that telling me? What is one of my favourite shops? Art supplies.

So clear and yet...I look and watch but don't act. That's not going to achieve much. And yet/still...

Spent an hour or two watching abstract artists on 2x speed. Loved IndieRu, Suraj Fine Arts had some very nice figure pieces and Mohamed Mahmoud has some wonderful techniques for painting walls. Scribbled down a bunch of ideas that popped up as a result, pondered on the fact that my laptop is balanced on the boxes which contain all my canvases...got distracted again just now while I tried to track down Mr Mahmoud's name and now have a bunch of videos lined up to watch.

Okay, one thing I know, If I allow one hour each day to really study various artists' tutorials then I can be learning something but then I have to put it into action. Painting is great since if you have a rubbish piece that makes you cringe (i.e. most of my abstract attempts), you can paint over, use modelling paste or paper to cover the hideous and try something else. Let's see what comes from all this.

Now I have videos to watch and a fresh notebook to start writing what I learn.